Wednesday, February 24, 2010

Who Writes This Stuff Anyway?

So, I was travelling on the 4 Train from Brooklyn to The Bronx (my usual 718-718 trip), and found a Chinese-language newspaper on one of the seats. Struck by an impulse to check it out (mainly to check out what sorts of advertisements would be featured), I found this cute little English dialogue lesson. I have highlighted my favorite lines, which are pure comedy gold:

A: Good evening, Mr. Benson. Thank you so much for inviting me to dinner.

B: Not at all, Mr. Abe. I'm so happy you could me (sic). What will you have to drink? A highball? Or would you prefer a cocktail?

A: Nothing, thanks, I don,t (sic) drink.

B: How about a beer, then?

A: Not even beer, thanks. But please don't let me stop you from having some.

B: Please sit over here, Mr. Abe. I hope you like onion soup. It's the first course.

A: It's a real favorite of mine.

B: Which soup do you prefer, consomme or potage?

A: Usually I prefer consomme.

B: I do too.

A: These are wonderful appetizers. I am extremely fond of caviar on toast.

B: Please help yourself to more.

A: How do you fine (sic) the lobster?

B: It's excellent.

A: I don't believe I've ever eaten such a delicious lobster before.

Am I the only one who'd like to hang out with this Mr. Benson? As long as he's not driving, that is.


ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said...

Here in Ohio, caviar, lobster, and champagne are standard dinner fare.



ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said...

I guess some might say, based on pictures on me own blog, that my statement can't be true.

I say in answer: we have to keep the riff raff out of Ohio some how.

Big Bad Bald Bastard said...

Here in Ohio, caviar, lobster, and champagne are standard dinner fare.

Nice! I remember coming home from a trip to England and France, with some foie gras and a bottle of Johnny Walker Blue (purchased duty-free, for a fraction of the price it goes for here...). Well, a bunch of folks came over for some foie gras and scotch- just another night in Yonkers!

Man, I miss the old days when Europe was affordable!

zombie rotten mcdonald said...

How about a beer then? both from the host, or the guest. That's some useful dialog, that is.

Hamish Mack said...

I like the way Bronson brushes off the sissy "I don't drink". I bet Bronson works for Big Tobacco