But as the World Becomes More Primitive, Its Conspiracies Become More Idiotic

The most shocking local news story of the weekend was the assassination in New Jersey of a federal judge's son and the attempted assassination of her husband. Fueling the conspiracy theory pipeline was the fact that Judge Esther Salas was slated to preside over a class action lawsuit against Deutsche Bank AG on behalf of investors concerned about the bank's failure to combat money laundering, including the laundering of serial child molester Jeffrey Epstein's money. Epstein's death in prison fueled a wave of conspiracy theory content, because he could have been the linchpin in a worldwide campaign to bring down wealthy child abusers. The gangland style assassination of a judge's family member fits well into the broader conspiracy framework, the ideal that a shadowy, powerful cabal would send a message to Judge Salas makes sense to people raised on 'Godfather' movies.

The reality, though, seems to be stupider, as the primary suspect in the murder and attempted murder turned out to be an 'antifeminist lawyer' who argued a case for male-exclusive 'selective service' before the judge. No grand conspiracy here, no shadowy cabal sending a message to let judge Salas know that any efforts to combat a global pedophile ring would be countered in deadly fashion... just a sad, stupid man with a years-long grudge against an accomplished woman fighting gender-based inequality. In this most stupid of timelines, we got a most stupid assassination.

The post title is inspired by my favorite scene in perhaps my favorite movie, the 1955 adaptation of Kiss Me Deadly.





I know that the phrase 'We Live in the Most Stupid Timeline' has taken on the status of an axiom, but it seems that every week is proving it to be true.

ADDENDUM: In an entirely predictable development, the prime suspect blended his misogyny with racism. They all do.