Saturday, May 16, 2020

Partial Refund for a Faulty Product

It finally came in the mail, my 'Economic Impact Payment' with Asshole's name on it:

Twelve hundred bucks, just barely enough to cover a month's expenses, excluding things like food and phone bill. It's a good thing that last week's paycheck came in and next week's will as well. As a cherry on top of the sundae, my monthly mileage reimbursement check from work arrived in the same batch of mail.

When I joked about getting the check, my upstairs neighbor laughed and asked, "Are you going to rip it up?" "Nah," I told her, "It's my money, and I'm going to spend it on things that would make Trump mad." A sizeable chunk of it will go to paying my New York State and City of Yonkers taxes (I plan on putting the IRS payment off until July, just before the deadline, to give this Maladministration as little time to spend my money as possible), I plan on getting new brake pads, and I will definitely use a chunk of it to pay left-of-center organizations and alt-media groups. Just for added LULZ0RZ, I am planning on sending AOC's PAC some of my TRUMPBUX. I'm toying with the idea of sending a postcard delineating this to the White House, as soon as I can figure out an acrostic which spells 'FUCK TRUMP'. I have free time now that my social life has been largely curtailed.

Right now, the check remains undeposited. I'll get it into the bank sometime next week, as soon as I figure out that acrostic.


janet said...

Please don't. Your Homeland Security file will be that much thicker!

Big Bad Bald Bastard said...

I wouldn't use my full name.

The New York Crank said...

I never got my check. And something tells me I never will. Or that if I did get it, it would be after blowing $2,400 worth of my time for the $1,200.

Yours crankily,
The New York Crank

Big Bad Bald Bastard said...

I think it will come, but it's a 'too little, too late' sort of thing, a clueless 'Marie Antoinette' response to a crisis from a twerp who, even though he's racked up billions of dollars in debt through his business failures, has never had to worry where his next meal is coming from.

tony in san diego said...

I spent it on pot.

Big Bad Bald Bastard said...

That's a perfectly cromulent way to spend the money. I think we all need some psychoactive substances to deal with this crap.