Tuesday, March 25, 2014

Jocular Jehovites

Today, for the first time in years, a pair of Jehovah's Witnesses came to my door. For the record, the last time the Witnesses rang my bell, I took one look at the primly dressed elderly ladies and said, "Usually, the agency sends the same two strippers, but you two will do just fine." It's been a while since they've been back (I'll let you imagine how the last encountered panned out, you dirty dogs).

Today, two pleasant women in their late forties were waiting outside when I opened the door. One of them handed me a flyer about an upcoming commemoration of Christ's death and said, "We hope you can come."

Me being me, I responded, "Will there be beer?"

"It's not that sort of event."

"I guess I'll bring my own."

This led to a light-hearted discussion about how the Egyptians and Sumerians both brewed and consumed copious amounts of beer, and how the first miracle attributed to Christ in the New Testament was the whole changing water into wine at the wedding feat at Cana. We had a good chuckle and they departed with mutual well wishes...

Could it be that they were really Jovial Witnesses? I could be down with a denomination like that.


ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said...

(I'll let you imagine how the last encountered panned out, you dirty dogs).


Big Bad Bald Bastard said...

The soundtrack is more important.

Smut Clyde said...

Jovial Witnesses
But which Jove? There were so many of them. Jove Imperator and Jove Fulminator would make good names for Doppelbocks.

Personally I rate for Jove Ruminus, "Breastfeeding Jupiter".

Syrbal/Labrys said...

And now, I just want a beer. Hey…could we get the Witnesses to serve in a secondary category as delivery persons?

John Gray said...

I am so going to use that line
" will there be beer?"
Fucking funny

Aunt Snow said...

Is there some church schedule they're following? I had two JWs show up at my door last weekend. First time it's happened in the fifteen years we've lived here.

Dan Gambiera said...

The last time JWs came to our house my wife simply explained we weren't interested, thank you. They went away.

The most amusing case was when I was staying with a Baha'i friend and his wife. They showed up. He explained politely that everyone was busy, could they come back X days later.

X days later my then-fiancee had driven up to visit. The JWs showed up. Steven took them into the living room with tea and cookies and began talking. We couldn't quite make out what they were saying.

This was followed by several excited trips to another room where he brought back books and started poring through them.

They began to look more and more uncomfortable.

Eventually they left in full flight like Ol Man Debbil himself was after them with the branding iron.

"Steven," his wife said "What did you do to those nice people?"

"Why nothing. I simply got out their holy books and ours and found areas of agreement and harmony."