Saturday, September 22, 2012

Won't Somebody Pity the Plutocrat's Poor Wife?

These days, it's not easy being the wife of a plutocratic sociopath who is seeking a political office. Consider the plight of Ann Romney...


Ann's husband Willard has had a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad week. To compound matters, this was supposed to be the week of Mitt's glorious reboot. Mitt's reboot week was derailed by a video surreptitiously recorded at a $50,000/head fundraiser, no doubt by a scurrilous, low-class server. Just imagine, a perfidious prole had the temerity to violate the confidentiality of quiet rooms, the Seal of the Boardroom as sacred as that of the confessional! Poor Ann had to take time from her busy schedule to inform the slack-jawed troglodytes that Mitt doesn't hold them in the disdain that they so truly deserve.

To compound matters, even though she'd never admit it in public, Ann can't be happy about her husband's lack of confidence in her appeal to human beings. One can't let a trivial thing like self-respect crack one's "Stepford wife" facade. If she can convince herself that Mitt doesn't disdain the poor, she can convince herself that Mitt doesn't disdain her.

As if things weren't bad enough, she also had to chide other Republicans, who should feel lucky that one so one Mighty and Strong would deign to run under the mantle of the GOP. Here's a word of advice to stupid Peggy Noonan- just drink and drink until Mitt becomes indistinguishable from the Sainted Ronnie Raygun. You owe it to Mitt, you antiquated hack.

If the media and the GOP establishment don't knuckle under and kiss Mitt's ass in public, Queen Ann's revenge is not going to be pretty. Already, things are building to a head- she's got so much smoke billowing out of her nostrils that she forced a charter plane to land prematurely.

POSTSCRIPT: I don't know what the hell is up with Blogger- I actually had paragraph breaks in this post. To get an idea of what the post is supposed to look like, it's cross-posted at Rumproast.

9 comments:

ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said...

I had trouble getting the spacing right in my last post.

Go into the html editor, and put them in yourself...
~

mikey said...

At the risk of being repeatedly redundant, I strongly suggest using a 'real' editor and pasting the resulting text into blogger. SO much easier, SO much more control, and a record of everything you write (Justin Case)...

ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said...

mikey said that already!
mikey said that already!
mikey said that already!
~

mikey said...

In the course of a little poking around in Blogger (because I really don't have much of a life) I see that in the edit posts screen there is an 'Options' link that gives you a few settings choices. One of them is "Press Enter for Line Breaks". If you wanna keep using the Bloggitor, I'd give that a whirl and see if it fixes it...

Substance McGravitas said...

Good tip mikey. I haven't explored the new interface yet but I noticed break tags in old posts that I hadn't put there and I figured something was up.

Also Ann Romney internal dialogue: "Is marrying scum so bad? I got a pony!"

J Neo Marvin said...

I predict divorce proceedings will begin sometime around December...

ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said...

I've been messing around with the editor a bit meself, in attempts to put up a new post with (only) 4 pics.

But it's not the same as the typepad interface. There, you have "rich text" and "html".

You can adjust the spacing in your rich text, and it gives you the html.

But that's not what I'm getting from blooger. It's like they're giving you coconut headsets to make the cargo come back.
~

Big Bad Bald Bastard said...

Go into the html editor, and put them in yourself...

HANX! I went to "settings" and chose the "use enter key" option.

At the risk of being repeatedly redundant, I strongly suggest using a 'real' editor and pasting the resulting text into blogger. SO much easier, SO much more control, and a record of everything you write (Justin Case)...

I hear ya. Like I said, I do this for longer posts. Here's my deep, dark confession, though... a lot of my shorter posts are "on the fly", quickly inspired, quickly banged out.

mikey said that already!
mikey said that already!
mikey said that already!


He's being a responsible netizen.

In the course of a little poking around in Blogger (because I really don't have much of a life) I see that in the edit posts screen there is an 'Options' link that gives you a few settings choices. One of them is "Press Enter for Line Breaks". If you wanna keep using the Bloggitor, I'd give that a whirl and see if it fixes it...

Thanks for the tip. I did some poking around, I need to open up the hood, so to speak.

Also Ann Romney internal dialogue: "Is marrying scum so bad? I got a pony!"

Wed a phony, get a pony!

I predict divorce proceedings will begin sometime around December...

That would be funny, but weren't they "sealed in the Temple", or some other LDS thing? It would be even funnier if she divorces his ass then renounces the faith and de-converts.

But that's not what I'm getting from blooger. It's like they're giving you coconut headsets to make the cargo come back.

That wouldn't be so bad if they also gave you a perky brunette and a voluptuous redhead to share the island with.

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