Thursday, August 25, 2011

What's Shaking?

I should have posted this yesterday, but it was a luverly day, so I spent much of the day outdoors before heading down to Brooklyn for the Secret Science Club lecture. I have to be at a departmental meeting this afternoon, so I'll do the SSC recap tonight.

I worked a graveyard shift on Tuesday, so I pretty much spent much of Tuesday in the Land of Nod. Suffice it to say, I slept through the East Coast Earthquake. I got a phone call from Mom, who lives in Prince William County in Northern Virginia. She was at work when the quake hit, one of her best friends on the job, fortuitously, was away from his desk when a metal fixture fell on it. When in doubt, people, take that coffee break! Mom was fine. She's a lot like me, she decided to hunker down and stay put while most people were taking advantage of early work release/evacuation. Like me, she'd rather deal with the elements than with panicked people on the roads. She waited out the crush of traffic, and came home to find everything okely dokely.

Since President Obama is away from Virginia, I figured that conspiracy loons would find a sinister reason behind the earthquake. Sure enough, there are people who believe that the Virginia Earthquake was induced by HAARP. The High Frequency Active Auroral Research Program has loomed large in the minds of conspiracy theorists, who view it as a combination superweapon/weather smurfing machine.

So, from the safety of Martha's Vinyard, Illuminati front man and possible Antichrist Obama has unleashed the earth's crusty fury on the Mid-Atlantic states to usher in a New World Order:

That being said, you don't even want to know what the queers are doing to the soil...

Enjoy the weird science fictional lunacy- I'll drop some real science in my next post.

UPDATE: Well, what have we here? Yeah, there's a guy who actually knows what the queers are doing to the soil:

I like you, Yehuda, you're not like the other people, here in the shtetl...


ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said...

All four cheeks and a couple of chins, he typed.

I think your mom (and everyone else) is in longer term danger due to fracking and global warming.

Dr.KennethNoisewater said...

Land of Nod

This is also my favorite place. IN THE UNIVERSE.

I'm also in PW County.

ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said...

And DKW, of course.

Big Bad Bald Bastard said...

Correction, I'll have the lecture recap up tomorrow. This one's pretty involved.

Dragon-King Wangchuck said...

I pose no threat to anyone's moms - everything is totes consensual.

re: Video. WTF?! What did I just watch? Word salad paranoia.

I'm receiving information about Michelle Wie's Kia commercial. This is a double alert code four, and everyone should be apprised of the infracell elevation that is here. It's quite obvious what they are planning, although none of the specifics have been revealed. Infracell elevation is no joking matter. We've alread had interlock activated, and there may already be connected dynotherms, so everybody needs to stay on guard for infracells.

Unknown said...

Damn, you missed a fine opportunity to freak the fuck out B4! tsk..tsk... ;-D