Wednesday, August 17, 2011

City of Substance

The day began like any other, with a cup of coffee and a hasty breakfast of scrambled eggs, home fries, bacon, sausage links, black pudding, grapefruit, toasted wheat bread with lemon curd, and a half-strength mimosa. I turned on the radi-adi-o to catch the local news, and realized that something strange was going on... tales of octogenarians forced to jump in public, rumors of a mysterious figure carrying a bag of stickers, and placing them on the enticingly large foreheads of random strangers. I had to substantiate the gravity of these rumors, so I hit the streets.

I needed help, and fast, so I headed down to downtown Brooklyn, to enlist the aid of a guy who was a mild-mannered family man by night, a skyscraper-scaling daredevil by day. Standing in the shadow of his peen-like abode, I knew I was close to the source of the rumors...


Yesterday, I was able to attach a name and a face to King of the Animated Gifs and all-around Good Guy Substance McGravitas. Yes, we hung out at a Baby Biergarten (note to motherlovers... where there's babbies, there's muthas, if you know what I mean and I think that you do). Ned's nuclear family, the lovely Mrs. B. and the not-so-mini _B (he's like a babysaurus- I mean, he's thirty pounds of baby!) accompanied us to the Playdate Beerhall. Big Mini _B is thirty pounds of awesome, he's a happy guy, and totes adorbs... I'd hang out with him any day, he's a total, as they say, chick magnet.

After some nice fat glasses of beer, we stopped by the local B.B.Q. pit and got some victuals to consume in the book-lined precincts of Casa _B. Nothing beats good old-fashioned down-home downtown hospitality. All told, it was a day to mark with a white stone.

So, who's the next person to get their ass to New York?

UPDATE: Does it even need to be said that Substance McGravitas has an enticingly large forehead? Didn't think so!


Dr.KennethNoisewater said...

LUCKY BASTARD!!! Mini_B, Substance and Ned? That's about 27 kajillion kinds of awesome. My slashfic just got a whole lot weirder.

ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said...

Where did you go for the beers?

Big Bad Bald Bastard said...

That's about 27 kajillion kinds of awesome

Where were you and Dudeskull? Huh?

Where did you go for the beers?

A Daycare Center.

M. Bouffant said...

Coat Check: No
Ambience: Hipster, Casual
Has TV: Yes
Good for Groups: Yes
Good for Kids: No

Ha ha. Hipsters.

I (& ass) have been to NY. You come here.

Dragon-King Wangchuck said...

,,,if you know what I mean and I think that you do,,,

Moms AND beer? I'd never leave.

Dr.KennethNoisewater said...

Where were you and Dudeskull? Huh?

Hey, I'm gonna try to make it to NY this year. Maybe I can break away from the fam one night and meet you crazy guyzes for a drink. Oh, I know--KARAOKE!!! YES!!!

Brando said...

That sounds like a really fun day.

zombie rotten mcdonald said...

Terrible it couldn't have been organized around a Black 47 or Seanchai show.