Saturday, January 8, 2011

A Present Pour Moi?*

I got me a present from the lovely, gracious and talented vacuumslayer (congratulations on finding out that you will be having a boy)- a link to the 700 Hoboes (sic) Project (the song Hobo with an Oboe is now running through my head and, to my knowledge, it doesn't exist):

Hobo with an oboe, I know, I know it's serious!

I am also trying to picture a vacuumslayer illustration of a hobo, but the idea just does not compute... the adjectives "ethereal" and "sylph-like" just don't mesh well with the noun "hobo".

I wish I knew more about hobos, because having a working knowledge of their techniques would come in handy in these harsh economic times. I have some scant familiarity with hobo signs, but I have no experience in stealing a cooling pie from a windowsill, and, at any rate, the Goddess of Pies (sorry about the initials of that nickname!) lives clear across the country.

Perhaps GOP (not Goddess of Pies) hostility to rail projects stems from fears of the potential growth of a hobo underclass, as cash-strapped Americans with "underwater" housing units trade in their soon-to-be-foreclosed-on houses for a life riding the rails. A growing hobo class would undoubtedly push their hobosexual agenda on besieged cultural conservatives... who really knows the salacious uses to which hobos put those purloined pies? What demands would a hobosexual lobby put on the baked-goods industry? Would there be a slippery slope as cake fetishists and other dessert deviants seek societal sanction for their kinks?

*Veiled Plastic Bertrand reference


BDR said...

Take a look at Vollmann's Riding Toward Everywhere.

ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said...

Watch out for Ernest Borgnine, as you ride the rails!

P.S. Ernest also made a documentary.

vacuumslayer said...

A shout-out? For me? I'm touched!

Smut Clyde said...

I'm touched!
That was probably actor212.

Substance McGravitas said...

their hobosexual agenda

I must say I prefer having sex with tramps.

Smut Clyde said...

I must say I prefer sex with tramping.