Tuesday, December 29, 2009

If Only Ogden Had Known...

I knew I would post on this topic eventually, but a "Smut synergy" at Riddled has forced my hand- when I saw the recent posts on alarming duck penes and turtle flatus, I knew that the time had come.

One of my favorite poets (besides that other Big Bad Bald Bastard, aka the Scallop-Skulled Skald) is Ogden Nash. Mr. Nash was blissfully unaware of the truth when he wrote his poem The Turtle:

The turtle lives 'twixt plated decks
Which practically conceal its sex.
I think it clever of the turtle
In such a fix to be so fertile.

Oh, Ogden, Ogden, Ogden, if only you had known the shocking facts about grave robbers from outer space alarming turtle penes. Note, labeling this video "Not Safe For Work" would be a meaningless exercise. This video is not safe for humans, period, and, once seen, can never be unseen. You've been warned, this is a potent mixture of hilarity and horror!


ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said...

Come on, he's having a ball!

zombie rotten mcdonald said...

...and he rolls over and goes to sleep when finished.

Smut Clyde said...

You know who else had only one big ball?

Hamish Mack said...

The rock and roll lifestyle eh?

Big Bad Bald Bastard said...

I think this clip explains the origin of football.

"No way am I gonna touch that ball with my hands!"

Of course, the first guy to "head" the ball must've been a fetishist of the worst sort!

zombie rotten mcdonald said...

well, I'm betting you won't see that on Animal Planet.

Big Bad Bald Bastard said...

You need the "premium" package, zrm!