Friday, June 13, 2014

Working Comfort Eagle

I just read about the bizarre case of a Long Island company pressuring employees to participate in quasi-religious practices of an organization called Harnessing Happiness. As part of the "Harnessing Happiness" regimen, the employees were exhorted to join prayer circles, thank God for their jobs and greet co-workers by saying, "I love you."

Upon reading that the central figure in "Harnessing Happiness" is a figure called "Onionhead", it finally hit me... this workplace was modeled on Cake's song Comfort Eagle.


We are building a religion
We are building it bigger
We are widening the corridors
And adding more lanes

We are building a religion
A limited edition
We are now accepting callers
For these pendant key chains



The final piece of the puzzle that fell into place was this verse:


Doesn't matter if you're skinny
Doesn't matter if you're fat
You can dress up like a sultan
In your onion head hat.



Tragically, the "Cake based" workplace seems like it sucked, when it should have ROCKED HARD!!!





If my employers told me that I had to engage in any particular relgious practices, I would have told them to stuff it. Only two of my co-workers can demand worship. If I'm going to work in a Cake-based workplace, it had better be based on Short Skirt/Long Jacket:


3 comments:

OBS said...

Their other motivational phrase has to be "sheep go to heaven, goats go to hell."

John Gray said...

And pigs go to purgatory?

squirrel_e_girl said...

I adore Cake...soooooo great.

...they are responsible for one of only two songs( that I'm aware of) to feature my very own seldom referenced name "She is changing her name from Kitty to Karen"

Although, I kinda wish my name rhymed with a cooler car than the red Chrysler LeBaron...I guess that's why it's not prime songwriting fodder.

(In case you were wondering, the other Karen-mentioning song is James Taylor's "Carolina in My Mind")