Thursday, September 3, 2020

Cheese Balls for the Cheeseball

Tuesday night has, for a long time in the Before Time, been Team Bar Trivia night.  I'd meet up with a bunch of friends, old and new, and we'd have a few beers and engage in a table vs table bar trivia contest.  Now, with the reality of COVID-19, the trivia event is largely online, with our redoubtable Master of Ceremonies running a Zoom meeting in which he reads out the questions, with scoring being done through a multiple choice polling app.

Because he is a loyal fellow, and a guy with an infant daughter at home, he broadcasts the online trivia from a rotating roster of the bars he would conduct trivia nights at... in the Before Time.  Most of the bars have outdoor seating areas, so even New York City venues can host him.  When possible, we attend the live events out of loyalty to our friend, and out of gratitude for all of the  bar nights when we've had much of the tab defrayed by our winnings.

 On Tuesday, the live event took place at the Rambling House, in the Woodlawn section of the Bronx, which is about ten blocks from my house.  The Woodlawn neighborhood merges seamlessly with my neighborhood in Yonkers, only the police cruisers and buses differ.

During the remote trivia nights, the MC conducts a dance contest after the third round (the music recognition round).  It's a fun opportunity for people cooped up at home to shake what their mothers gave them.  For the live audience, he has some sort of jocular prize or other.

Last Tuesday, I won the dance contest by performing a vigorous rendition of the bus driver dance, with the prize being a thirty five ounce jar of Utz Cheese Balls.  Cheese balls being light, this damn thing is bigger than my head:

After offering the other patrons a taste of my balls, I brought my bounty home. Now I am wondering who I should tackle this bigass ball bounty, should I eat them ten at a time, or devour the entire jar at one sitting, so my upstairs neighbor can find me sprawled out in the backyard, covered with an integuement of orange dust?

2 comments:

  1. NEVER EAT ANYTHING BIGGER THAN YOUR HEAD.
    —Kliban

    C. Mubbers

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  2. Kliban is one of my all-time favorites. I discovered him in high school and he solidified my snarky sense of humor.

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