Wednesday, November 4, 2015

Ben Carson, Gamer?

Via M. Bouffant, commenting at Roy's place, we have an oldie-but-crazy from Ben Carson:

“My own personal theory is that Joseph built the pyramids to store grain,” Carson said. “Now all the archeologists think that they were made for the pharaohs’ graves. But, you know, it would have to be something awfully big if you stop and think about it. And I don’t think it’d just disappear over the course of time to store that much grain.”

Let's unpack this for a second... an brief glance at the cross-section of the Great Pyramid of Giza reveals that it is largely solid, while granaries tend to be hollow so that, you know, grain can be stored in them. More importantly, archaeological study of an ancient granary would reveal the remnants of the grain that had been stored therein- tiny particles of plant matter can be separated from detritus, and these tiny particles are of great importance because they reveal information about the diet of the individuals who inhabited a site. If grain were being stored in the insufficiently large chambers of the pyramids, it would have been evident for over fifty years.

It gets even better:

“And when you look at the way that the pyramids are made, with many chambers that are hermetically sealed, they’d have to be that way for various reasons. And various of scientists have said, ‘Well, you know there were alien beings that came down and they have special knowledge and that’s how—’ you know, it doesn’t require an alien being when God is with you.”

Let that sink in for a moment... "And various of scientists have said, ‘Well, you know there were alien beings that came down and they have special knowledge and that’s how—'" No, Ben, Erich von Däniken is not a scientist, never was. The whole 'ancient aliens' industrial complex is rehashed Lovecraftian pulp fiction, complete with a hefty dose of racism.

Yeah, not only are the mostly-solid pyramids the worst granaries in the world, but 'scientists' think they were built by aliens.. got it. So where the hell did Ben Carson get the idea that the Pyramids were built to store grain? He made this statement in 1998, two years after the release of the computer game Civilization II. The game is a strategic simulation of a society as it advances from the neolithic to the interstellar age, involving the foundation of municipalities, their growth and expansion, and the discovery of new intellectual advances. Among the structures that players can build in their cities, are wonders of the world, including the Pyramids:

The Pyramids require Masonry. It will put a Granary in each of your cities.

It seems like old Ben was playing computer games when he should have been reading up on history. People who are well-informed about these things know that the Pyramids were built because big balls of water were a no-go.


Smut Clyde said...

If you're going to bring the old man of Providence into it, you should link to the source.

Smut Clyde said...

Also too, have you ruled out the "Listening to way too much Alan Parsons Project" explanation?

OBS said...

A newly unearthed photo of Benny:

OBS said...

Dammit: linkfied.

Smut Clyde said...

If only there were an architecturally-themed description for the kind of MLM schemes, like Mannatech, that Carson is drawn to.

Smut Clyde said...

New game from a UK satirist -- make up your own bizarre Carson beliefs:

ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said...

Look, everyone knows it was probably aliens.

Smut Clyde said...

it was probably aliens
Teach the controversy!

Yastreblyansky said...

He could have gotten it from all sorts of places. Is Dr. Ben a secret Muslim? Who knows?

Anonymous said...

There are those who believe...that life here began out there, far across the Universe...with tribes of humans...who may have been the forefathers of the Egyptians...or the Toltecs...or the Mayans...that they may have been the architects of the Great Pyramids...or the lost civilizations of Lemuria...or Atlantis.

Some believe that there may yet be brothers of man...who even now fight to survive--somewhere beyond the heavens!

Anonymous said...

.... Fleeing from the Cylon tyranny, the last battlestar, Galactica, leads a rag-tag fugitive fleet on a lonely quest...a shining planet known as Earth.