Monday, May 13, 2013


At the mothership, Monsieur McGravitas linked to a Boing Boing article about Newt Gingrich being stymied by a smartphone. If you can stomach looking at Newt's face, and hearing Newt's voice, here is a video of Newt, the world's dumbest public intellectual musing on an all-but ubiquitous device (I'm still holding out on getting one):

Not being too savvy, Newt allowed comments to be posted, and commenter "oyyour" nails it perfectly with the comment:

The device is known as a "smart phone." The person holding the device is known as a "dumb fuck."

Given my somewhat jaundiced view of the present compared to the high-tech dreams of the height of the "Space Age", I have to repeat my acerbic characterization of modern technology:

In the 1960's we had a view of a future characterized by flying cars and bubble cities. No bubble cities... no moon colonies... no flying cars... at least we've got one thing those old-timey futurists never foresaw, we've got phones we can watch porn on.

Here's my suggestion for Newt, given the way most people use the internet: POCKET O' PORN.

Whatever Newt decides to call it, I hope he finds it useful in his attempts to cope with this strange new world of savagery, super-science, and sorcery:


M. Bouffant said...

I too still have a mere mobile ('though it does take pix & can access the Internet) but I figure since I spend 16-18 hrs. a day on the tubes as is it's just as well I'm disconnected during shopping expeditions.

Laura said...

What an idiot. Unless you're 70+ there is no excuse for you not knowing what he's holding in his hand.

Have I called him an idiot yet? Oh! I did! Good. :)


mikey said...

They're all just computers - they all do the same thing. Phone, tablet, netbook, notebook, laptop, media hub, VM - you use the appropriate form factor for a given situation.

It's really not that hard...

zombie rotten mcdonald said...

the sad part is Newtron there thinks he's on to something clever.

Such a fine line between clever and stupid, Asshole.

Glennis said...

I am always reminded of someone's description of Newt Gingrich as a stupid person's idea of what a smart person would sound like.

Bitter Scribe said...

Is that porn in your pocket or are you just glad to...

Wait. There's a joke in there somewhere. I think.