Monday, February 11, 2013

Bye Bye Bennie!

Wow! This just in, Pope Benedict will be stepping down at the end of the month. It's somewhat appropriate the Pope choose the day before Mardi Gras to step down, because he is, as I wrote two years ago, one of those insufferable "All Ash Wednesday, No Fat Tuesday" Catholics, much like professional scolds Ross Douthat and Kathryn Jean Lopez.

Tragically, my first choice for the Papacy, a beloved figure from a country with a population that is 80% Roman Catholic died this weekend. My second choice for the Papacy, the Monsignor of The Church of the Holy Spook would only get confused by the smoke emanating from the Vatican and wander off looking to score some hash.

So, who to elect pope? Personally, I think the Roman Catholic Church should elevate one of the cardinals of Brazil to the Papacy. Brazil is the world's most populous Roman Catholic country, and has a diverse and forward-thinking population. The past thirty years has seen the Roman Catholic Church take a hard rightward lurch as a mini "Counter Reformation" in response to the changes ushered in by the Second Vatican Council. As Thunder put it in the comments on that long-ago post, the Roman Catholic Church in Latin America has maintained a tradition of actually helping the poor. Tellingly, Benedict, while still Cardinal Ratzinger, condemned Liberation Theology. Perhaps a Brazilian pope would bring a more progressive vision to the Holy See. Mainly, I think nominating a Brazilian pope would be a great idea so we could have a pope who appears on the Vatican balcony in a Speedo. Isn't about time we had a sexy pope again?

Cross posted at Rumproast

10 comments:

mikey said...

Isn't about time we had a sexy pope again?

Hey! You can't say that Herr Panzerpoppen didn't wear some truly FABULOUS shoes.

Beyond that. what we need, I think, is a young, buff pope. Then we should have a global cage match, with that oiled up Catholic fellah, the Sunni Grand Mufti, the top Shiite cleric and the Biggest, Baddest Baptist Bastard. With all the chips on the table...

ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said...

Bennie and the Jets?
~

Substance McGravitas said...

Sarah Palin!

M. Bouffant said...

Whuh? No representative of the Hebrew persuasion for the big cage match?

Smut Clyde said...

If memory serves, it has been over a century since the last English pope, so it is probably their turn again.

mikey said...

Whuh? No representative of the Hebrew persuasion for the big cage match?

I am intimidated by the non-existent Jewish Lobby...

zombie rotten mcdonald said...

the Jewish Lobby is directly adjacent to the Episcopalian Elevators. The Baptist Toilet rooms are to the left. If you end up in the Scientology Trash Room, you've gone too far.

zombie rotten mcdonald said...

No, no, that's the Wisconsin Synod Security Office....

Patricia said...

Why not a Popess? There is rumor that there actually was one. Nice work. Linked.

Brando said...

I vote for this guy.. Substantially less scary looking than Pope Ratso.