After an auspicious beginning to his transatlantic tour, Mitt Romney is leaving the land of his Anglo-Saxon kin with whom he shares a special relationship that is special to travel to Israel. I, for one, can't wait... I'm expecting that Mitt will follow his "Romneyshambles" with a "Romneyshonda and I can't wait.
I imagine Mitt will start off by telling his hosts that their deceased relatives are now Mormons, which, oddly enough, would make them gay. Sorry, boychik, your bubbe is engaged in tribadism on the planet Kolob now... if she's lucky, she may hook up with Sarah Silverman in a few decades.
I imagine that he will visit the Wailing Wall, which is just the right height, and comment on the ingenuity of the Jewish people, who could hunt whales so far from the sea.
Finally, I imagine that he will be asked for his opinion of a two-state solution in the Holy Land, and he will state that a successful two-state solution has already been accomplished in the Holy Land because its greatest city straddles two states.
And do I even need to speculate that he'll insist that he isn't sure about the falafel? Oy gevalt!