Melts in Your Mouth, Not on Your Peen

Hunter Biden's nine-and-a-half inch penis has been stuck in conservatives' heads since Rudolph Giuliani claimed to be in possession of Hunter's laptop during the 2020 presidential election.  This was a widely panned sequel to the 2016 Anthony Weiner laptop scandal, brought up to regain that strange, viral magic which led to Trump losing the popular vote in 2016.

The presence of Hunter's tallywhacker lodged in their heads has made Republicans... well... strange:

stop the presses. pic.twitter.com/DLxZFtTVdx

— nikki mccann screamírez 👻 (@NikkiMcR) October 27, 2021

This is a screenshot from Fox's highest rated commentary show.

The crazy thing about these stories is that they make Hunter Biden seem a lot cooler than he is, provided that his partner was a consenting adult, not coerced into sex work.  Sure, placing M&Ms on one's peen is kinda weird, but who would even give a crap about such an inconsequential kink?

With continuing coverage of these bizarre Hunter scandals, which never seem to pan out for right-wingers attempting to discredit his father, Hunter's peen will forever be stuck in conservatives' heads:

To my husband last night: "I've seen Hunter Biden's penis more times than yours."

— Kelly (@Kelly_Dee_) October 27, 2020

I'm sure Hunter would appreciate that.