In the last few days, I have received some sad news.
On Wednesday, I learned that a co-worker who had been critically injured in a car accident last August died a week ago in a longterm care facility to which she had been transferred. She was a gentle soul and a kind heart. She was my age.
Today, I received an e-mail informing me that one of my colleagues in the children's sports program that I volunteer for had succumbed to cancer. He was a few years older than I am. He was a physical fitness fanatic, and a consummate athlete, but his finely honed body "betrayed" him in spite of his doing "everything right". This isn't the first time that a friend in the bloom of a strong middle age died shockingly young. The important thing to do now is to rally around his young son.
It's a tragedy to lose two friends so young, especially in such a short period of time. My reaction to loss is stoicism- while I was still in my teens, I lost three friends in a weekend... two to accidents, one to leukemia. I learned at a young age how to deal with tragedy, so I'll provide the stiff upper lip and the broad shoulder for others to cry on. For me, it's more about keeping the memory of my friends alive, and lending moral support to their survivors than it is about mourning.
I am sorry for your loss. It is discomforting to lose someone one's own age--we lost a supervisor at my workplace a few years younger than myself and when I remarked on that singular chronological differential--the difference of a few years between his age and mine, I came to feel like a total jerk. The point isn't that someone younger than myself died--it was that he died at all that was the tragedy.
ReplyDeleteIt strikes me as ridiculous that anyone is ever at an age where death becomes a companion with which we must deal. But it is our reality, as I come to understand with every passing funeral. The vicarious children of our peers grow--and some of them graduate to glory when we are barely looking.
Such sad news for you, take the time to grieve yourself, then celebrate their lives.
ReplyDeleteMy condolences, B^4.
ReplyDelete~
I am sorry for your loss. It is discomforting to lose someone one's own age--we lost a supervisor at my workplace a few years younger than myself and when I remarked on that singular chronological differential--the difference of a few years between his age and mine, I came to feel like a total jerk. The point isn't that someone younger than myself died--it was that he died at all that was the tragedy.
ReplyDeleteIt's a shock to see someone so young die, even if it's not a surprise.
Such sad news for you, take the time to grieve yourself, then celebrate their lives.
Thanks, Chickpea. Both of my friends were in hospice for an extended period of time. I've had time to process and grieve.
My condolences, B^4.
Thanks, old chum.
B-4:
ReplyDeleteThere are no words that I can offer, except to continue to be a friend to their memories. Be good to yourself, too.
Regards,
Tengrain