Dick Dynasty

I don't have a T.V., so I was blissfully unaware of the show Duck Dynasty, a show about a clan of successful duck-call crafters, until it became a cultural touchstone for right-wingers. Lately, one of the members of the family has caused a bit of a furor by making some nasty comments about gay men. Let's get it straight from the duck dude's quackhole:


“It seems like, to me, a vagina—as a man—would be more desirable than a man’s anus. That’s just me. I’m just thinking: There’s more there! She’s got more to offer. I mean, come on, dudes! You know what I’m saying? But hey, sin: It’s not logical, my man. It’s just not logical.”


Even more striking to me than the homophobia is the sexism- yeah, ladies, you have more to offer society than a man... one whole orifice (whole hole?) more! Robertson has one thing right, a vagina is a lot more desirable than an asshole like Roberton. Seriously, his comment reducing women to the sum total of their orifices should be creating more of a stir.

The best response to this controversy would be airing a satirical skit called Dick Dynasty, about a gay-owned company that makes custom dildos. The slogan of the show could be "No Beards!" Somebody, get on this stat! Fight the hate with ridicule.

UPDATE: When I wrote this post, I wasn't even aware of the racist element of Duck Dick's blathering:


I never, with my eyes, saw the mistreatment of any black person. Not once. Where we lived was all farmers. The blacks worked for the farmers. I hoed cotton with them. I’m with the blacks, because we’re white trash. We’re going across the field.... They’re singing and happy. I never heard one of them, one black person, say, ‘I tell you what: These doggone white people’—not a word!... Pre-entitlement, pre-welfare, you say: Were they happy? They were godly; they were happy; no one was singing the blues.


Yeah, he never heard a word about "these doggone white people" from the black farmhands with whom he worked, and he chalked that up to "happiness" rather than fear of reprisal. He must have known what was going on during the civil rights struggles of the early-to-mid 60s, so this statement shows a willful ignorance on his part (or pure trollery).

Homophobia, sexism, and racism... a classic American combo, just like processed beef scraps, E. coli, and ammonia.