Politics Ain't Beanbag, Bainbag

Is there no help for the plutocrat's son? Poor little rich boy Mitt Romney is sad because his opponent is bringing up his business and tax records, a tactic that he finds upsetting because it's driving up his unfavorable ratings. Mitt's cri du coeur is pretty pathetic, because it demonstrates that the only real emotion he seems capable of expressing is self-pity:


"Our campaign would be — helped immensely if we had an agreement between both campaigns that we were only going to talk about issues and that attacks based upon — business or family or taxes or things of that nature,” Romney said, according to excerpts of an upcoming interview with NBC’s Chuck Todd released Friday.


Of course, Mitt's business experience was supposed to be his strong suit (warning, link is to a Neil Fucking Cavuto clip), but the fact that Mitt was a vulture tapeworm capitalist has nuked this narrative from orbit. Even more worrisome for Mitt are his not-so-stellar tax records. It's no wonder that he wants to bury his past. Of course, by seeming to try to take the high road, Mitt reveals his true problem, and the reason he's suggesting (insincerely) a non-aggression pact:


Romney said he would prefer the campaigns “only talk about issues,” and claimed that “our ads haven’t gone after the president personally. … We haven’t dredged up the old stuff that people talked about last time around. We haven’t gone after the personal things."


He hasn't "dredged up the old stuff that people talked about last time around" because it didn't work. The Kenyan Usurper won the presidency in Ought-Eight, and nobody gave a shit about Jeremiah Right or Bill Ayres or Lolo Soetoro. Frankly, Mitt's got nothing.

Mitt genuinely seemed to be a little sad in the interview... it's the unique sadness of the bully who gets trashed by his erstwhile victim. He thought he could knock the president down and cut his hair, so to speak.

Mitt's first ad in the general election involved deceptively editing the president's words and his campaign is still engaging in this practice. In addition, the theme of Romney's new ad is "Obama can't run on his record." Shya, "Bin Laden is dead, GM is alive" beats anything Romney's got.

Romney's vaunted Olympic chairmanship involved a major bailout by taxpayers, his business model involved destroying healthy companies and used taxpayer dollars to cover looted pension funds. A Romney spokesperson has been castigated by conservatives for even mentioning his Massachusetts healthcare reform. D00d's got nothing, so he's basically crying "Uncle" and asking the Obama campaign to play nice with him. Sorry, Mitt, you trashed your primary opponents and you've trashed the president... what's sauce for the goose is sauce for the pander.