International Burn a Copy of Treasure Island Day

This coming Sunday is Talk Like a Pirate Day, which is a day dedicated to glorifying murderous, scurvy sea dogs. Still, I feel that it is time for America to quit apologizing for our actions and bowing to pirates. We must send a clear message to the piratical element. We will no longer be controlled and dominated by their fears and threats. It is time for America to return to being America. Robert Louis Stevenson wrote Treasure Island after the golden days of piracy, a safe time when pirates could be portrayed as freedom-loving swashbucklers with a shockingly modern approach to the concept of Workers' Compensation. Today, with a resurgence of piracy, I strongly feel that it's time to burn a copy of Treasure Island in order to send a message that piracy is about pieces of hate, not pieces of eight.