Locking Up

The tourist season ended today. It's a bittersweet day, because I won't see the majority of my co-workers for a few months, but I'll have plenty of time for myself over the cold months. I commiserated with one twenty-something co-worker who will go on hiatus until the spring... his other job ended a week ago, and he'll have to find seasonal work until both places open again next year. Luckily, there's seasonal work to be had with the upcoming holidays, but it's not the sort of satisfying work he's used to doing. Crazy how most of the 'fulfilling' jobs really aren't very remunerative, and by 'crazy' I mean tragic.

I half-joked with the ladies in the shop, who are mainly retired or have other gigs, telling them that we had an opening in my department... oddly enough, they didn't seem to be interested in a job that involved Scooby-Dooing around in the dark and cold. As they left, we exchanged six months worth of holiday well-wishes. In May, they'll come back like the swallows of San Juan Capistrano and, like the swallows, they will bring a bright, cheerful note to the place.

After everybody left, I locked up the gates to the parking lots for the last time this year. There's a glorious feeling knowing that I'll have the place to myself for months. On the weekends, I typically don't see another two-footed co-worker during the off-season. Our year-round crew typically works Monday to Friday, so on weekends it's just me and the Rodent Abatement Team, which is not a bad state of affairs at all.

Getting a Nostalgic Vibe Here

A while ago, I posted about the late 80s, early 90s era of blonde rock goddesses, when the airwaves were taken over by a slew of female-fronted bands playing a great mix of bubblegum pop and noise rock. Recently, I heard a song by London-based Wolf Alice which reminded me a lot of the Primitives.

Here's a live version of the song Bros, the song which turned me on to this great band:





The studio version has a fuller, lusher sound, a dead ringer for that great, noisy girl-pop from late last century.

Blast this one.

Ben Carson, Gamer?

Via M. Bouffant, commenting at Roy's place, we have an oldie-but-crazy from Ben Carson:


“My own personal theory is that Joseph built the pyramids to store grain,” Carson said. “Now all the archeologists think that they were made for the pharaohs’ graves. But, you know, it would have to be something awfully big if you stop and think about it. And I don’t think it’d just disappear over the course of time to store that much grain.”

Let's unpack this for a second... an brief glance at the cross-section of the Great Pyramid of Giza reveals that it is largely solid, while granaries tend to be hollow so that, you know, grain can be stored in them. More importantly, archaeological study of an ancient granary would reveal the remnants of the grain that had been stored therein- tiny particles of plant matter can be separated from detritus, and these tiny particles are of great importance because they reveal information about the diet of the individuals who inhabited a site. If grain were being stored in the insufficiently large chambers of the pyramids, it would have been evident for over fifty years.

It gets even better:

“And when you look at the way that the pyramids are made, with many chambers that are hermetically sealed, they’d have to be that way for various reasons. And various of scientists have said, ‘Well, you know there were alien beings that came down and they have special knowledge and that’s how—’ you know, it doesn’t require an alien being when God is with you.”


Let that sink in for a moment... "And various of scientists have said, ‘Well, you know there were alien beings that came down and they have special knowledge and that’s how—'" No, Ben, Erich von Däniken is not a scientist, never was. The whole 'ancient aliens' industrial complex is rehashed Lovecraftian pulp fiction, complete with a hefty dose of racism.

Yeah, not only are the mostly-solid pyramids the worst granaries in the world, but 'scientists' think they were built by aliens.. got it. So where the hell did Ben Carson get the idea that the Pyramids were built to store grain? He made this statement in 1998, two years after the release of the computer game Civilization II. The game is a strategic simulation of a society as it advances from the neolithic to the interstellar age, involving the foundation of municipalities, their growth and expansion, and the discovery of new intellectual advances. Among the structures that players can build in their cities, are wonders of the world, including the Pyramids:

The Pyramids require Masonry. It will put a Granary in each of your cities.

It seems like old Ben was playing computer games when he should have been reading up on history. People who are well-informed about these things know that the Pyramids were built because big balls of water were a no-go.

Thanks! A Million!!!

Sometime this weekend, between Friday night and Saturday night, I received my one millionth page view! Currently, I have 1,001,096 hits. The top ten breakdown for my audience is as follows:

United States 536506

France 104033

Germany 40075

United Kingdom 32214

Russia 24402

Ukraine 16608

China 15937

Poland 12350

Canada 11139

Netherlands 5977


I never knew my French audience was so extensive: Merci mes amis! Thanks to everyone, I love you all, I love your comments. Having people stopping by and reading the blog is a great honor for me. I also want to thank everyone on my blogroll, the "Bloggerhood" as zrm puts it. I couldn't do this without the support of everybody.

Really, I can't thank everybody enough. I figure I should post a celebratory video, so how about "Million Seller" by the Pooh Sticks? No, you naughty little lambies, the band is named after a sport.





For the record, my favorite Pooh Sticks song is Susan Sleepwalking, about as perfect a bit of pure pop pleasure as you could possibly find.

Once again, thank you, thank you, thank you everybody!

Halloween Humbug!

So, Halloween has finally rolled around... feh. I've worked Halloween for the past nine years, it pretty much marks the end of our busy season. I've come to the conclusion that, for many people, Halloween is, as Al Jourgensen told us, every day:





Ah, who am I kidding? I have no animus against the day, or its celebrations. I talk a good game about being a curmudgeon, but I can't really get torqued up about this holiday. In fact, it signals the end of the busy season, much as the lark heralds the morn. Here's wishing a happy Halloween to all of my readers. Here's wishing you success in your liquor treating.

The Scariest Halloween Story of All

Last night was the final night on the job for my co-worker whose wife transitioned from working one day a week to a full-time job. He's a solid citizen, so he gave a month's notice before leaving- he didn't want to leave us in the lurch for our busy season. We always got along really well, having similar attitudes and a similar work ethic. One of my other part-timers joked, "When the boss hired him, he was hiring you again."

After giving me his keys and his company nametag, he assured me that he wouldn't be a stranger, and we both considered the possibility of doing per diem work for each other in case of staffing emergencies- I'm sure H.R. wouldn't mind that, he's pre-vetted and very well thought of. As of last night, my department is now down to three employees, myself and my two part-time subordinates, and that's kinda scary.

Speaking of H.R., I hear that they've put an ad out for the position. I didn't write the ad copy, but if I did, it would include the following prerequisites:

Must have tolerance for general weirdness and occasional physical discomfort
Must not be afraid of the dark
And most important of all... must love cats

Our event schedule becomes much lighter after this weekend, so things calm down considerably, with one frenzied day next Tuesday, when my principal workplace becomes a polling site. I'll be putting in a twelve hour day that day, but I can use the overtime. My part-timers are pretty psyched about the additional hours- for now.

It remains to be seen whether or not the position will be filled any time soon. I always joke that the job is very cushy, except when it's not. I also joke that it's a 'cake' job that many, many people would be totally unsuited to do. At the risk of sounding conceited, I think H.R. is looking for yet another 'me'.

Secret Science Club North Post Lecture Recap: One Hundred Years of Solitude Relativity

On Tuesday night, I headed to the Scintillating Symphony Space, on the Upper West Side of Manhattan, for the latest Secret Science Club North lecture, featuring astrophysicist Dr Jason Kalirai of the Space Telescope Science Institute and NASA's James Webb Space Telescope project. Dr Kalirai's lecture was a commemoration of both the 100th anniversary of the publication of Einstein's Theory of General Relativity and the 20th anniversary of the launching of the Hubble Space Telescope.

Dr Kalirai began his talk by asking, what is our place in the universe? His quick answer was that it depends on when an individual asked that question. He followed up with a quick overview of the history of astronomy, beginning with the ancient Egyptians, who aligned their pyramids with the circumpolar stars and used astronomical observation to determine the times of planting and harvest. He then moved on to a quick discussion of Greek philosophers and mathematicians, such as Pythagoras and Aristotle, who believed that earthly standards could be applied to celestial bodies. He singled out Hipparchus as an avid mapper of the changing positions of celestial bodies, and Ptolemy, whose geocentric model of the universe held sway for fifteen-hundred years, until Copernicus publicized his heliocentric model. Copernicus' model was corroborated by Galileo's discovery of moons orbiting Jupiter. By shifting the center of the universe away from the Earth, our position in the universe was considerably diminished.

In 1920, the Great Debate between Harlow Shapley and Heber Curtis regarding the nature of spiral nebulae took place- Shapely believed that spiral nebulae were formations within the Milky Way, which comprised the totality of the universe, while Curtis believed that spiral nebulae were additional galaxies outside the Milky Way, which would necessitate a vastly larger universe and a Milky Way which was merely one galaxy among many. Edwin Hubble was able to determine that spiral nebulae lay outside the Milky Way by observing a certain type of star in several nebulae, indicating that they lay outside our galaxy.

The next great leap forward in astronomy would require a telescope in space, outside of Earth's atmosphere- in 1946, Lyman Spitzer wrote a paper titled, "Astronomical Advantages of an Extra-Terrestrial Observatory". Within fifty years, the Hubble space telescope was sent into orbit, science fiction became science fact. Dr Kalirai then proceeded to show us some wonderful images from Hubble depicting the life of stars such as the explosion of a star and the end of a supernova. Stars are largely composed of hydrogen and helium- the heavier elements were formed in the core of stars and are disseminated throughout the universe by the explosion of older stars. The Earth formed in a region 'polluted' by supernovae, and we are all made of stars. He also showed lovely images of the Hubble Deep Field, which gave us a glimpse of the thousands and thousands of galaxies in the universe.

The talk then shifted to the topic of Einstein's Theory of General Relativity. In 1905, Albert Einstein published his Special Theory of Relativity. The two main postulates of Special Relativity are that the laws of physics are independent of a frame of reference and that light has a constant speed independent of the direction and motion of its source. According to Special Relativity, time and space are one (physicists speak of spacetime), and that time slows down for objects in motion (time dilation). Special Relativity was thought to apply only to systems in which there is no acceleration, in which speed is constant.

In 1915, Einstein published his General Theory of Relativity, which was a response to Newton's Law of Universal Gravitation- Einstein was not satisfied with Newton's equations, which approximated reality. He desired a more elegant explanation for gravity because Newton's laws break down at high speeds in high gravitational fields. Einstein noted that mass bends space and time, with larger masses distorting spacetime more than smaller masses. Gravity is the interaction of objects in the warped spacetime.

Dr Kalirai then noted that there are five basic pieces of evidence that backed General Relativity. First, the gravity of the sun bends light from objects behind it, an effect observed by astronomer Arthur Eddington during a solar eclipse in 1919, during which it was observed that stars behind the sun could be seen. The second piece of evidence is the observed precession (rotation) of Mercury, which deviates from the precession predicted by Newtonian models. The third piece of evidence supporting General Relativity is gravitational lensing- the bending of light from distant sources by intervening mass (the subject of the first Secret Science Club North lecture was the use of gravitational lensing to infer the presence of masses of dark matter). The fourth piece of evidence in support of General Relativity is stellar life cycles and black holes. Small stars, approximately the size of our sun, will form white dwarfs at the end of their 'lifespans'- these stars expand to form red giants, then lose their outer layers, with the core remaining, a small star remnant about the size of the Earth with a mass approximating that of our sun. Stars with higher mass will end up as pulsars, superdense neutron stars which emit beams of radiation that appear to pulse due to rotation. The largest stars will collapse to form black holes, which are so dense that their escape velocity exceeds the speed of light, so that not even light can escape their gravitational forces. The fifth piece of evidence supporting General Relativity is dark matter and dark energy- Einstein believed in a static universe and postulated a cosmological constant in order to 'hold back gravity' in order to allow his equations to account for it. When Edwin Hubble discovered that the universe is expanding, Einstein is reported to have labeled the cosmological constant his 'greatest blunder'. Dark energy is believed to compose 70% of the universe and is postulated to cause the acceleration of the expansion of the universe.

Dr Kalirai then tied the two major threads of the lecture together, talking about the need for improved telescopes to improve our observation of the universe in order to increase our knowledge. He talked about the James Webb Space Telescope project, which involves sending a telescope with a mirror array the size of a tennis court to a position a million miles away from Earth. The resolution provided by the telescope will exceed that of the Hubble. He also brought up the Wide Field Infrared Survey Telescope, which is supposed to explore the nature of both dark energy and exoplanets. Besides the 100th anniversary of General Relativity and the 25th anniversary of the Hubble, it's the 20th anniversary of the discovery of the first exoplanet. He noted that the Hubble Telescope was limited by its size- he likened its use to peering through a drinking straw. The Wide Field Infrared Survey Telescope will be able to observe a field one hundred times that provided by the Hubble. It is hoped that the WFIRST will allow us to transition from finding exoplanets to learning about exoplanets- using spectra to determine the composition of planetary atmospheres. Another desired result of the use of these telescopes is to search for the first light of the first stars.

All told, Dr Kalirai's lecture was a slam-dunk... he really tied together an introduction to General Relativity and research projects which will expand on our knowledge of astrophysics, the experimental data which corroborated Einstein's theoretical framework. The audience skewed both older and younger than the typical Secret Science Club crowd, with many senior citizens and a sprinkling of children. Only a handful of the Brooklyn regulars were on hand. The main Symphony Space auditorium was about 80% full, and the Q&A session was lively. After the lecture, I had a nice, brief discussion with Dr Kalirai about the use of these telescopes to give us a better idea of the larger structure of the universe- the clusters of galaxies and the tendrils of dark matter which trail from galaxy to galaxy. Dr Kalirai indicated that much of our theories about this structure were extrapolated from the Hubble Deep Field images- we're basically peering through the soda straw and making predictions about that. Any widening of the field will widen our knowledge.

Once again, the Secret Science Club delivered a great program- Dr Kalirai was an engaging, charismatic speaker, a true populizer of science, able to convey complex astrophysical information to a lay audience. Here is a video of him delivering a lecture on our place in the universe:





The lecture begins about ten minutes into the embedded video... pour yourself a nice cold beverage and approximate that Secret Science Club vibe.